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DIVORCE LAW

The Divorce Preparation Checklist cont.

• Get a Cell Phone in Your Own Name and Get a New E-Mail Address! When you are getting a divorce, it is important that you be able to communicate without fear of the other spouse having records or access to your communications. Therefore, it is recommended that you get a separate cell phone (you can transfer your number) and get a new and independent e-mail address without an obvious username and password.
• Stop Direct Deposits! If your employer has you on direct deposit, you need to stop the deposits from entering the marital bank account. You can either have a hard check issued to you or you can have the direct deposit redirected to your new account.
• Stop any Contributions to Retirement Funds! If you and your spouse contribute to a retirement account, it is advisable to stop the contributions immediately. Any further contributions could be subject to a distribution which might be unfavorable upon resolution of the case.
• Start Keeping A Daily Journal! When you are preparing to go through with a divorce, it is wise to keep a detailed, fair and balanced record of events. This record should include any arguments, times of visitation, financial transactions, drug or alcohol related events, and any information relevant to the divorce or the issues leading up to the divorce. Every entry should contain a date and a time. It is very important that you keep this journal in a safe place where it will not be read and/or examined by your spouse.
• Do not do anything Dumb! It is certainly understandable to have an urge to drink or to seek revenge during a divorce. But, it is important for you to refrain from those acts. This is the time to step back and to allow your attorneys to work out the details and work as your advocate to complete the divorce process. Therefore, it is strongly recommended that you do not use alcohol excessively, use drugs, destroy your spouse's property, assault your spouse, or verbally/mentally abuse your children, in-laws or spouse. You want to be civil and come to Court with clean hands.
• Get the Yourself and the Children in Counseling! From both a therapeutic standpoint but also from a strategic standpoint, if you are going through the divorce process and have children, it is advisable for you to put them in some sort of counseling to assist them with the transition. At the very least, if you are preparing to file for a divorce, you should independently contact the therapist, appraise him or her of your situation, and make some arrangements for future sessions. With regard to yourself individually, it is often very helpful to enlist the assistance of a counselor to help you with your emotional needs. As attorneys, we can assist you with the legal aspects, but on the emotional and psychological side of the equation, a different type of professional might be required. If you feel you need assistance, you should get help immediately and early.
• Attend Substance Abuse Classes (if applicable)! If you have abused substances in the past and during the course of your marriage, you can anticipate that this will be brought up during the course of your divorce. Therefore, you should be proactive and begin attending substance abuse classes in an effort to heal yourself and in an effort to show the Court that you can be trusted, particularly when issues of custody and visitation is concerned.
• Prepare for an Attack! As a good defensive measure, you must anticipate that you will likely be legally attacked by your spouse. Therefore, it is advisable to note each potentially negative rumor or fact, and be candid with your attorney. Together, you can prepare the best defense possible and minimize potential damage. Often, some of these negative rumors can be devastating such as allegations of spousal and/or sexual abuse. It is very important that you be totally candid and honest with your attorney as it is not possible for him/her to adequately represent you without knowing all the facts. It is important to understand that any communications to your attorney are privileged and protected, absent a clear criminal intent to harm a third party some time in the future.
• Maintain your Mortgage! It is important to maintain you mortgage and keep it up to date, regardless of who ultimately pays the mortgage. It is very important for you to walk away from your divorce with the mortgage in one name, not both. One of the ways you can potentially deal with this problem is to sell your home. However, the sale may not occur right away. It is possible for one spouse to sabotage the payments and cause a negative impact on your credit score. You should be cognizant of when and how each payment is made.
  
  If it is not possible to sell the home and you are forced to make joint payments, make sure the mortgage company sends you a duplicate copy of each statement. With regard to selling the home, it is very important that you place time limits and restrictions on how and when the home will be sold. As always, consult with your attorney before you begin this process. Finally, prior to the house being sold, do not take you name off the title. If you take your name off the title, usually via quitclaim deed, you are removing your ownership rights but you are not removing your responsibility for the debt with the mortgage company. In the event the home is sold, you might not receive any of the equity.
• Address your Automobile Situation Immediately! When getting a divorce, usually one of the primary areas of concern deals with the automobiles. Generally, depending on how long a couple has been married, they have multiple cars and they are usually jointly financed. As with a mortgage, if the car is in both names, it is advisable to sell the car or to insist that the spouse who holds the car gets it refinanced in his or her name. However, refinancing is subject to the lender's requirements and may not be easily obtained. This can create a problem and can often injure your credit rating if payments are skipped or missed. Bad credit can cost you thousands of dollars over time. Also, as with a mortgage, if selling or refinancing the car is not an option, do not take your name off the title. Insist on a time frame to sell or refinance the car. And, make sure the finance company knows your mailing address and forwards you a copy of the latest statement and notifies you in the event of default. The most important thing to remember with regard to both an auto loan and a mortgage is that you need to protect your credit rating by ensuring the payments are being made prior to the final disposition of the property.
• Do not quit your Job! During the course of the divorce process, it is important that you are financially sound, particularly when children are involved. Additionally, you have to have the resources to pay your existing obligations and to protect your credit.
• Don't be afraid to protect yourself! If any domestic violence occurs, call the police and insist they come out and make a report. You might need this evidence in the future. Additionally, if you are a victim of domestic violence, take pictures of your injuries and keep any medical records related to the event. If your spouse is still living with you, your attorney may be able to get a protective order from the Court ordering the abusive spouse to move out. If the danger of family violence is immediate, this can be done ex parte (without prior notice to your spouse).
• Know your spouse's business! Be familiar with your spouse's business, including his or her associations. You should know the name of the business or employer, names of business associates, and accounts the business has opened.
• Keep track of all mail coming to your house! When mail arrives at your house, make a list of the sender and of the return address. It is important that you know the name and addresses of banks, accountants, stockbrokers, insurance companies, etc. If the mail is also addressed to you, make a copy of the documents and keep a separate file.
• Make sure your Health Insurance is in Effect! It is important, prior to separating that you make sure you have health insurance in place. Getting a divorce can be both mentally and physically challenging. If a health concern arises, it is important that you are protected. In addition to making sure your health insurance is in effect, it is also advisable to get a physical to ensure you are healthy and to spot any potential problems.
• Get in the gym! In many respects, a divorce is the ending of an era in your life. But, it is also a new beginning. It is a time for you to re-define yourself and to make a fresh start. You need to focus on putting positive influences back in your life and on health. The best way to do that is to feel good about yourself. So, get in the gym, walk, run, or do whatever exercise you enjoy. It will not only make you healthier, but it will also help you deal with some of the stress surrounding your separation.

Anytime you enter the divorce process, there are a number of measures you can take to protect yourself financially, physically and mentally. This article is by no means exhaustive and is no substitute for proper legal advice, but it is a good start. A divorce is a complicated process and is very taxing both mentally and physically. You need to be properly equipped. The divorce attorneys at Smith & Garg certainly hope you never have to go through the process but we understand that we do not live in a perfect world and that about 50% of all marriages fail for various reasons. If you fall into this category, read this article as well as the many other articles on the Smith & Garg website related to divorce, and consult with a competent attorney.

If you would like to learn more about the causes of divorce and your legal rights and options, please call Smith & Garg, LLC at 281-210-0010 or use our Contact Form.